I bumbled around a bunch of places in Europe from June 13-July 26, and now that I’m back home, I can reflect a bit. In sum, I genuinely loved Krakow, the Scottish Highlands, Bruges, Munich (and Bavaria more generally), and Prague. Truly, madly, deeply. Really liked Edinburgh, Maastricht (and its surrounds), and Copenhagen. Lukewarm on Zagreb, Dubrovnik, London, and Vienna. I’ve written way too many words below without doing much more than expanding on each location, mostly with the goal of remembering as much of the stuff as I can.

Krakow

Much more beautiful than I anticipated. I think I imagined it would be gray, barren, and unwelcoming based on every WWII/Holocaust movie I’ve ever seen. It was none of those things. The people were very warm, the food was solid, and the city deserved far more time and attention than we could give it. We were there because of Auschwitz, and that was obviously a centerpiece of the trip. We also took a driving tour of the Jewish ghetto and saw the Wieliczka Salt Mine (so many steps). In the interstices, we passed by a lot more that we couldn’t really take the time to see. It was a much richer couple of days than I anticipated, and I’d really enjoy spending some more time in Krakow. Much to see, including both built and natural beauty. 

Zagreb

I expected Zagreb to be more exotic, less Eastern Bloc-y than it is. Perhaps not fair expectations, mind you, but expectations, nonetheless. The food was decent, and there was a small-but-nice downtown and nice parks. But it was hot and humid, so the outside spaces were less enjoyable than they would have been if the weather was 10-15° cooler. The most interesting part was the brief tour we took of the underground tunnels that were built during WWII and used as bomb shelters during the Yugoslav Wars in the 1990s. There was a strange and forbidding art installation when we went through, and I could have spent a lot more time perusing weird art in the cool spaces. Alas, we walked on. The Rhetoric Society of Europe conference was great (including a speech from the Prime Minister’s chief of staff!!!), which was the reason we were there in the first place, so that’s good. It an interesting city to visit, absolutely, and there were sights to see, but ultimately, it wasn’t my favorite.

Dubrovnik

It’s beautiful and enchanting, but way overpriced. Like, way. The food was middling but very expensive, the city was uncomfortably crowded, and the weather was intensely hot. Everything in the old city is white limestone, so literally every surface soaked up the heat like a hot plate and reflected the sun like a sun reflector. The Adriatic was stunning (A+), the old and beautiful buildings were amazing (A+), but I was uncomfortable most of the time we were in Dubrovnik, and the food was really disappointing (D). We did eat some good food—a roasted lamb dish [peka] comes to mind, and we went to a great Serbian restaurant—but how a place can claim so many Michelin stars with such underwhelming food baffles me. I felt personally attacked. The one stand-out experience was a little local restaurant that we ducked into to get out of the heat one day. We just drank a couple of beers, but the family that owned it was sweet and welcoming. The owner was preparing for their dinner service and gave us a few bites of the charcuterie meats, which were delicious, that she was slicing on an old-school machine. Those couple of hours were such a nice respite from the outside madness. But into the madness we eventually had to return. Ultimately, I’m glad I went but probably won’t ever need to return. As a place to spend more than a couple days, I give it a C.

London I (with the family)

The first time Charie and I were in London twenty years ago, I was kinda meh about it. Thought Paris was way better. Pleased to report, not much has changed. The sights are cool, but not exactly novel (okay, visiting inside Abbey Road was novel, but the point stands). I’ve seen pretty much all of it on the electric teevee machine, and it looks pretty similar in real life. They’re very excited about their royalty. I’m not. St. Paul’s Cathedral is, I must admit, pretty impressive inside, but most of the other places we went were only okay. We did get to see someone propose at The Globe, which was cute. Good thing she said yes. Dude was sweating bullets. Did I mention that it was very hot and very humid? In London? Blech. But even with the heat, the biggest disappointment, of course, was the food. The best thing I can say about the food is, as many people told me, “It’s better than it used to be.” Translation: it’s still not good. A couple of passable pub meals, but the only real food exception was Nando’s Peri-Peri Chicken. Fabulous on every continent. Not sure how it continues to thrive in a country that hates flavor. Between the heat, the bad food, and the ridiculous prices, I didn’t come away any more excited this time than I was two decades ago. I genuinely don’t get the hype. Lucky for me, I’d be coming back.

The Scottish Highlands/Fort Augustus/Loch Ness

Food was on par with London’s, but otherwise, a balm on my soul. By the time we got to the Highlands, we’d been to four hot, busy, chaotic cities. We’d lost (and recovered) luggage. We’d been on planes, trains, and automobiles. The Caledonian sleeper train—not fun AT ALL! The taxi company that was supposed to pick us up when we got to the Highlands cancelled on us at the last minute. I was s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d pretty thin, and I wasn’t the only one. But once we arrived and made alternative taxi arrangements, it was basically perfect. Beautiful, peaceful, quiet, cool, inviting. The people were delightful, the Abbey at the Highlands was delightful, the boat ride on Loch Ness was delightful, the light rain was delightful. Everything was delightful. Not a ton to do, but that was a big part of the charm. It felt like real rest. My main complaint is that it was such a short time—just two days. I would have liked another week or more. I want to become a mystery writer and move here to write my little books until I die.

Edinburgh

A bit like London, especially in terms of food quality and cost, but scrappier and far more interesting. It has a sort of inferiority complex that I find strangely alluring. We weren’t here for very long—just a couple nights—but we toured the castle, which was very impressive. It’s also a visually stunning city. I don’t know that I’m champing at the bit to get back, but if the opportunity came along to spend some more time, I wouldn’t be disappointed to return and give it some more time and attention. This is also where the fam departed, much to my sorrow.

London II

Here, I reconnected with Judy with for the remainder of the trip. I’ll begin with the good—I loved the time I spent in the British National Archives and the Wiener Holocaust Library archives. And we managed to cross our paths with Xochilt and Keisha! And we found a very simple pub (Bloomsbury Tavern) close to our hotel that we returned to multiple times because it was comforting. And the weather had cooled considerably. Now the bad: after all the griping I did above, you’d think I’d have exhausted my supply. Mostly I have. My complaints are not different in kind—high costs and bad food. We paid way too much money for a very budget hotel. Either the most or second most expensive place we stayed, and it was not especially comfortable. We toured Covent Garden, the West End, and Chinatown—okay, bad, and worse, in that order. We ate unsatisfying food at every turn (except for another trip I made to Nando’s—dang, I love that place). We even went to a fancy Indian restaurant (Tamarind) that was both very expensive and very underwhelming. If I’m going to eat flavorless Indian food, I shouldn’t have to spend more than the cost of a frozen microwave dinner, you know? (To be fair, Judy paid for this meal as a thank you for doing all the trip planning, but the principle, you know?!?) Pro-tip: if you salt food when you cook it, it tastes better. All in all, my time in London was useful, and it certainly wasn’t bad, but I can think of about a million places I’d rather go.

Bruges

Don’t go here. They have enough people. No more people. That said, my goodness, what an absolute delight. Great food, beautiful old town, and all kinds of charm. It’s a literal fairytale city. We had an outstanding meal at Duc De Bourgogne, a restaurant on the canal that has been in operation since 1648. We ate chocolates and wandered around the old downtown. We bought art from an independent seller in the old fish market. I mean, seriously, it was all kinds of fairytale stuff. And it wasn’t ridiculously crowded! Basically, Bruges was exactly what I’d hoped in vain for Dubrovnik. Major downside, I suppose, is that there’s not a ton to do that might sustain a long trip. Then again, we were only there one night, so there’s undoubtedly a lot I didn’t see or even know about. If you were allowed to go here, which you’re not because I’d hate to see it overrun, but if you were, it would be a splendid place for a relaxing and rejuvenating vacation. Please stay away. Thank you for your attention on this matter.

Maastricht

Oh my. Where to begin? I’d never heard of Maastricht before we decided to visit. We decided to visit because Judy recently learned that her father, whose plane was shot down near the Germany/Netherlands border in WWII, managed to land the plane in the Netherlands, got rescued by Dutch resistance fighters, and was smuggled out of the Netherlands into Belgium through a series of underground tunnels dating back to at least the 14th century (but probably back to the Romans or earlier). We were there to follow a little of his trail. The town was great, if similar to many of the other places we visited. You can get your fill of 1000-year-old churches, Roman ruins, and Medieval water mills in Maastricht. But the real treat was the tunnels. A huge section of the tunnels was destroyed by a cement factory that mined the area to help rebuild Europe after the war. A major loss, to be sure, but what is left is extraordinary and imposing, miles long, pitch black, filled with art carved into the limestone. The tunnels were hands down the most unexpected and amazing thing I saw this whole trip. Right up there with the Roman Forum, the Great Wall of China, and Bora Bora for most stunning places I’ve ever visited.

Geulle

We didn’t stay in Maastricht because it was crazy expensive, apparently because hometown star, André Rieu, is doing a summer concert series. We stayed in the neighboring village of Geulle (you’re on your own for pronunciation). It was very quiet and unassuming—they didn’t even have a grocery store—we had to take a bus to the neighboring village for that. The views were pastoral and stunning, especially the sunsets. Again, charm for days. Probably the best part of Geulle, however, was the little bar/restaurant, Preuverie Auwt Gäöl, that we ended up at on our first day in town. We’d just arrived, and all the restaurants were closed or closing. We rushed to this place to try and sneak under the wire before their kitchen closed. We literally begged for bread scraps. They said, “we’ll see if the kitchen has anything left,” and then they proceeded to treat us to an absolutely delicious regional dish, Zoervleis (or zuurvlees). We went back the next day because they were so wonderful to us and because the food was so delicious. We asked the owner to just bring us something good. Another home run, though I can’t recall the name of the dish. Unfortunately, we learned that the proprietor’s husband is ailing, and she expects that they’ll have to sell the place, which is really sad but also makes the time we spent there a little more special. Those were a few really beautiful days.

Munich

This is the fourth time I’ve been to Munich. Been here more than any other European city as a result of my research, but I always look forward to returning. Notwithstanding the truly dark history, it’s a wonderful city. Vibrant but not hectic, modern but historic, bustling but filled with trees and parks and quiet spots. People will tell you to go to Berlin. I disagree. Munich is the spot. Beer, pork knuckles, and sauerkraut around every corner. Magical. Judy and I visited Dachau, and I also got to visit two archives—the Bavarian State Archives and the Institute for Modern History. The State Archives were amazing! The Institute for Modern History hadn’t pulled my files, so I just left. Undoubtedly a miscommunication on my part, but since I’d been there before, not one I’m terribly crushed about. C’est la vie. It was raining while we were there, so we spent a good amount of time dodging the weather in beer gardens and beer halls. Really fun places to be, and not just because of the cheap, excellent beer. I look forward to returning again.

Vienna

The adjective I kept coming back to was “uptight.” Everything and everyone just seemed a little too uptight, guarded, formal. That sense was profoundly reinforced by the center city, which was overly fancy and a bit pompous. We had some good food, saw some pretty palaces and churches, and walked in a very nice park (Augarten). Overall, I didn’t have a single *bad* experience, but I left without feeling like I needed any additional time. To be honest, I don’t feel any particular need to return.

Prague

In many ways, like Vienna, but more beautiful, more laid back, more welcoming, and more affordable. The beer’s great, the food’s great, and it’s got some truly stunning things to see. I’d go back happily. By this point in the trip, I was pretty well fried and done with visiting the castles and tourist sights. The Jewish quarter was amazing and well worth the time and energy. The old town was also worth an afternoon. Absolute top things to return for, though, are the Old Prague Ham (succulent and smokey) and the roasted chicken at a restaurant called Kro. Tiny little place, but maybe the best roasted chicken I’ve ever had in my life. We also got a recommendation from a local to a local place named Lokál. Good food, great beer, totally reasonable prices. We went a couple of times. There were other things, too—a market, an island, our driver got a ticket taking us to the airport. You know, the standard stuff. But like I said, I was pretty fried and ready to go home, so I’m not sure I really appreciated everything Prague had to offer. If I go back, I’d be in a better headspace to really explore all the cool stuff.

Copenhagen

The International Society for the History of Rhetoric was fabulous. The University of Copenhagen was beautiful and welcoming. Big thumbs up there. I must admit, I was less impressed by the city itself for a combination of reasons. First, after a steady decline in cost since London, we spiked back up in Copenhagen. The hostel we stayed at, for instance, was a “mid-range” hostel. It was clean and at least we had a private bathroom, but it was very small, very hot, and they didn’t provide so much as a bar of soap. “Spartan” doesn’t begin to describe it. Mind you, it was comparable in cost to the too-expensive “budget” hotel in London and a lot more expensive than all the other places we stayed, all of which were considerably nicer. But it certainly wasn’t all bad. We did wander around the city some and found a cool dive bar (Skammerkrogen) and some good restaurants (e.g., Gaza Grill in the Meatpacking District and Shah’s Halal Food). Met interesting people (e.g., a recent biochemistry PhD who grew up in Bakersfield, some locals who were dying to give us recommendations, and I randomly bumped into Josie Walz on the Strøget). We felt welcomed, for sure. The canal was gorgeous, the tourist city center was not bad, and they had some amazing architecture. It made a huge difference to get off the main drag, I tell you. I think I might have enjoyed it a lot more if it wasn’t the last stop on my trip. But it was, and I spent most of the time counting down the days until I could go home.

Fun Time Stats

I do find it interesting to pull together statistics, so here are some:

• 44 days away from home
• 13 countries visited (incl. layovers)
• 701,148 steps walked
• 202.12 miles walked
• 14 hotels/airb’n’bs
• 14 airports
• 10 train stations
• 9 boat docks
• 7 bus stations
• 4 archives
• 4 beer gardens
• 3 concentration camps
• 3 tunnel systems
• 2 conferences
• 1 book contract
• Many shuttles
• Trams, taxis, tuk-tuks galore
• Innumerable churches/synagogues, castles, palaces, and museums

• travel